lately, sundays have been called tuesday, mondays called friday, and i can't remember any days prior to the current one. oh emmylou (isn't your name lovely?), i'm so consumed with you.. and apparently the hormones also have something to do with this memory loss. there is far too much on my plate at the moment.. i've known for months this time was coming, i just didn't expect that it would ever actually get here. i've dreaded this month where i would be juggling finals, moving, and bringing you into the world. and here it is upon me! my practical cooking final is on thursday. the week after is the written final, and then there is one more week of class. alan and i may be staying our first night at the new place on thursday, or friday at the latest. tomorrow and wednesday i'm going to try to make the curtains for our living and dining rooms. i must be crazy- while typing this out i'm thinking "wow, that's really too much" and simultaneously hoping above all hopes that it will all come together in the end, and i won't be entirely worn out.. of course, it's too late to hope for that last part. standing for 8 hours, 3 days a week is becoming more and more impossible. even after typing this out, and really considering everything i've written, i want to try. just a few more weeks of pushing my bounds. it feels good to be so motivated. i'm starting to see a determination in myself that i've always admired in my mother.

love,
l

34 weeks

not looking my best, i'm tired after a long day. today marks 34 weeks, and i cannot express how ready i am for you to be here, emmylou! yesterday you moved constantly from 11:15 am to 5:40 in the afternoon. i started throwing up at work, and decided that class was not the best idea. alan and i went to target and bought some travel-size toiletries to pack in the hospital bag.

another big thing happened today- i signed the lease for our new place. alan doesn't know it yet, but mom and i are setting up all the furniture and surprising him in a few days. there is so much going on! moving, finals, and your due date is approaching quickly.

i think this is going to be the outfit you come home from the hospital in

Last Day of Lamaze

as the title suggests, today was our 6th and final lamaze class. i think alan and i did take something away from the class.. i'm at least less freaked out about being scared about birth. i've got a much better understanding of how everything happens and what's going on (thanks, texas education, for not teaching us anything about things that will likely occur in our lives), and am more comfortable knowing that there are plenty of other women who are just as scared of going through labor. although i was the only one that cried when we saw a video of an epidural being administered. i'm slightly less scared, now that i know WHAT is going to happen. honestly, i had no idea prior to those classes. in just a few more weeks, it's going to happen. and i'm still terrified. also, officially nesting.

33 Weeks

i'll be 33 weeks tomorrow, which means 7 more to go. emmylou, we absolutely cannot wait to meet you. we're so in love already, and you have no idea how spoiled you are. sometime last week i really outgrew all of my pre-pregnancy clothes. i gained 5 pounds over the last 2 weeks, i am now 128 lbs.

in class today, photo by roger

there are so many things to do before you get here, and i am so excited for your arrival.. but at the same time i am terrified. giving birth is something i've been afraid of for as long as i can remember. i don't know what i'm more scared of; the needle that comes with the epidural, or the actual birth. i have no idea what this is going to feel like, but i know it isn't going to be pleasant. i think one of the happiest moments of my life will be when you are placed on my chest after being born. but the moments and hours leading up to that may be some of the most painful i will ever experience. my body will do things that i have absolutely no control over. i hope alan will be the support that i need most during that time. he's constantly playing around, and this is one time i know i won't be in the mood for it. i know i shouldn't be worrying about that, he will be great. now to keep my mind off of the inevitable yet unkown things that are to come.

love,
l

Lovely Monday

today couldn't have been much better. alan and i have been taking monday's off together, and the last couple of weeks we've fulfilled obligations, and tried to have some fun, too. i've been promising him a monday where my never-ending checklist would be put aside and it would just be him and me, and me and him. and the kite that's been sitting in my car since i got it three weeks ago.
we slept in. we had cinnamon rolls. then went to the beach and flew our kite, had lunch at ihop, and came home to e-mail our lamaze instructor that we wouldn't be able to make it to class tonight.. and went to the movies. we saw source code and insidious.

monday is the popular day to hate. for alan and me, and the millions of other people who don't always get saturday and sunday off, monday isn't so bad. we chose to have mondays off together so we could avoid any crowds, and because we always get our request approved. if we'd asked for friday, saturday, or sunday, there would likely be several other requests put in for that same day. i love you monday, even if no one else does.