Dear Emmylou

Emmylou,
It has been far too long since I have posted something for you. I am sorry! Hopefully I can re-cap a whole month for you.
You are 11 months, for 2 more days. On Sunday, May 27th, you turn one. ONE. Admittedly, I tear up every time I think about it. You love dancing, and walking around waving your hands in the air. Car rides still aren't your favorite, unless we're making fun noises.
Last week, I had my radioactive iodine treatment. That meant 8 days without you. It was tough. We Skyped, though, and that really helped. During the day, I would watch you play outside through Leela's bedroom window, where I was confined for those days. It was so hard not to run out, pick you up and swing you around and give you 8 days worth of kisses and raspberries and hugs. Reuniting with you was easy peasy. Your dad brought you over to Leela's house, I was sitting on the couch. You walked in, noticed me, and stared. I acted very nonchalant, as if those 8 days had never happened, and we went on from there.
The Friday prior to the treatment was my last final for the semester. Despite needing to adjust to lots of changes outside of school (new baby, new job, etc.), my grades didn't suffer. I am nearing the end of my culinary classes! Also, I think I have finally hit on the perfect idea for a business, and even wrote a research paper and presentation on it for a business class that went over really, really well. That little test-run gave me some confidence, and good feedback from peers and our professor.
More about you, Emmylou. Recently, you fell in love with the pool. For your birthday, we're having a picnic/pool party, which suits you perfectly I think. You hug every child you encounter. It is the sweetest thing, and I hate to think that someday you will lose that. The dreamer in me hopes that you never will. I want you to grow up in a world where you can go up and hug anyone, and that that embrace will be returned. That isn't the world we live in, and it will be interesting to navigate these years that you're not aware of that. Maybe we'll just go buy an island, and turn it into a community where everyone contributes their part and success is defined by our ability to be self-sufficient. I sound like a hippie. At what age will she learn that not everyone likes hugs? It is sickening to realize how quickly that perfect innocence fades. Already when she hugs another child, and it's obvious that child doesn't like it, I pull her towards me and tell her that not everyone likes hugs. Momma will ALWAYS love hugs.

Love,
L