lately, sundays have been called tuesday, mondays called friday, and i can't remember any days prior to the current one. oh emmylou (isn't your name lovely?), i'm so consumed with you.. and apparently the hormones also have something to do with this memory loss. there is far too much on my plate at the moment.. i've known for months this time was coming, i just didn't expect that it would ever actually get here. i've dreaded this month where i would be juggling finals, moving, and bringing you into the world. and here it is upon me! my practical cooking final is on thursday. the week after is the written final, and then there is one more week of class. alan and i may be staying our first night at the new place on thursday, or friday at the latest. tomorrow and wednesday i'm going to try to make the curtains for our living and dining rooms. i must be crazy- while typing this out i'm thinking "wow, that's really too much" and simultaneously hoping above all hopes that it will all come together in the end, and i won't be entirely worn out.. of course, it's too late to hope for that last part. standing for 8 hours, 3 days a week is becoming more and more impossible. even after typing this out, and really considering everything i've written, i want to try. just a few more weeks of pushing my bounds. it feels good to be so motivated. i'm starting to see a determination in myself that i've always admired in my mother.

love,
l

34 weeks

not looking my best, i'm tired after a long day. today marks 34 weeks, and i cannot express how ready i am for you to be here, emmylou! yesterday you moved constantly from 11:15 am to 5:40 in the afternoon. i started throwing up at work, and decided that class was not the best idea. alan and i went to target and bought some travel-size toiletries to pack in the hospital bag.

another big thing happened today- i signed the lease for our new place. alan doesn't know it yet, but mom and i are setting up all the furniture and surprising him in a few days. there is so much going on! moving, finals, and your due date is approaching quickly.

i think this is going to be the outfit you come home from the hospital in

Last Day of Lamaze

as the title suggests, today was our 6th and final lamaze class. i think alan and i did take something away from the class.. i'm at least less freaked out about being scared about birth. i've got a much better understanding of how everything happens and what's going on (thanks, texas education, for not teaching us anything about things that will likely occur in our lives), and am more comfortable knowing that there are plenty of other women who are just as scared of going through labor. although i was the only one that cried when we saw a video of an epidural being administered. i'm slightly less scared, now that i know WHAT is going to happen. honestly, i had no idea prior to those classes. in just a few more weeks, it's going to happen. and i'm still terrified. also, officially nesting.

33 Weeks

i'll be 33 weeks tomorrow, which means 7 more to go. emmylou, we absolutely cannot wait to meet you. we're so in love already, and you have no idea how spoiled you are. sometime last week i really outgrew all of my pre-pregnancy clothes. i gained 5 pounds over the last 2 weeks, i am now 128 lbs.

in class today, photo by roger

there are so many things to do before you get here, and i am so excited for your arrival.. but at the same time i am terrified. giving birth is something i've been afraid of for as long as i can remember. i don't know what i'm more scared of; the needle that comes with the epidural, or the actual birth. i have no idea what this is going to feel like, but i know it isn't going to be pleasant. i think one of the happiest moments of my life will be when you are placed on my chest after being born. but the moments and hours leading up to that may be some of the most painful i will ever experience. my body will do things that i have absolutely no control over. i hope alan will be the support that i need most during that time. he's constantly playing around, and this is one time i know i won't be in the mood for it. i know i shouldn't be worrying about that, he will be great. now to keep my mind off of the inevitable yet unkown things that are to come.

love,
l

Lovely Monday

today couldn't have been much better. alan and i have been taking monday's off together, and the last couple of weeks we've fulfilled obligations, and tried to have some fun, too. i've been promising him a monday where my never-ending checklist would be put aside and it would just be him and me, and me and him. and the kite that's been sitting in my car since i got it three weeks ago.
we slept in. we had cinnamon rolls. then went to the beach and flew our kite, had lunch at ihop, and came home to e-mail our lamaze instructor that we wouldn't be able to make it to class tonight.. and went to the movies. we saw source code and insidious.

monday is the popular day to hate. for alan and me, and the millions of other people who don't always get saturday and sunday off, monday isn't so bad. we chose to have mondays off together so we could avoid any crowds, and because we always get our request approved. if we'd asked for friday, saturday, or sunday, there would likely be several other requests put in for that same day. i love you monday, even if no one else does.

we've come a long way, baby

30 weeks and 2 days already! time started flying once i was over the morning sickness. 10 short weeks until i get to meet the little girl who already takes my breath away, physically and mentally.

we will be moving in just a few weeks. i've gone crazy doing as much space planning as possible, with mom's help of course. i want to surprise alan by having all of our things unpacked and ready the day we move in. and emmylou, your room is coming together already. your crib got its final coat of yellow paint today, a kartell gnome sidetable is on its way, and your dresser is being refinished. there are still so many things to be done, but a list has been made and things WILL get crossed off!

in other news, we've found a new ob/gyn. i had my first appointment two weeks ago, and am feeling so much better. unfortunately, alan wasn't able to come to the appointment, but mom came along and also felt better about the new doctor. our next appointment is on monday, and alan will be there. we started lamaze on the 14th. from the two classes we've been to, here's how we're enjoying it so far:
the class is from 7-9:30. that's a long class, but we'd be okay with that if we were learning lots during that time. so far, that hasn't been the case. people love telling stories of their lives in extreme detail, and it ends up taking more than an hour of classtime. perhaps i'm judging too quickly, there have only been two classes. and the first class was about baby care, which we didn't need, so it seemed especially long. we'll see how this monday goes.
oh! we've also got a photoshoot on monday. i'm crossing my fingers that alan will be tolerant of it all.

29 weeks, 4 days

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Glucose Test

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The Results Are In

last thursday, i had a needle biopsy of two 4cm lumps on my thyroid. i was told the results would be in the next day, which they were.. but the nurse couldn't tell me what they were. the doctor wanted to speak to the pathologist, so i wouldn't know the results until monday. so here we are.. it turns out that there were abnormal, malignant cells present in the biopsy. i'll be going in to consult with the doctor on wednesday morning, to discuss the effect (if any) on my pregnancy, and whether surgery can be put off until after the baby is delivered. 

i felt much better that we had an ultrasound today, and emmylou is perfectly healthy. they checked her thyroid and her heart- both looked good. i am 27 weeks and 5 days. emmylou is about 13.5 inches, and 2.9 lbs (big for her age!). she's got a big ol' noggin and big feet. i swear her face is the same shape as alan's. 

ultrasound tech: "there's her face, and her hand is next to it.. it appears that her foot is there as well.."

i started cracking up. we've got a little contortionist. then she started grabbing her feet, which the tech took a photo of for us.

Dream Dream Dream

i've been listening to my ipod on shuffle lately, and have stumbled across a few songs i hadn't listened to in a while.
i've taken to singing this one to emmy





tomorrow is a big day- we get another ultrasound! it's been several months since the last one, and i've been so anxious to see how she's changed. it'd be nice to confirm that she is indeed a she, too..
we'll be getting the results from the thyroid biopsy i had on thursday, too. i'm not too nervous about it, i just want to know what's going on!
if the weather is nice, we'll be heading to the beach. i have my fingers and toes crossed for that one. and at night we're going to a show. i'm excited for that, we've only been to one show together, and this time we're seeing a band that alan likes. 

this year, my birthday fell on a tuesday. we held off celebrating until wednesday and friday. my brother, his lady, alan and i went to a lucero/robert ellis and the boys show on wednesday the 23rd, and my parents took alan and me out to dinner and then to see the final radio music theater show on friday the 25th. they also gave me a panasonic hdc-sdx1 video camera. i'm in love with it! as a child, i was embarrassed by mom constantly having the camera in everyone's face, blinding us with the flash. or dad having the giant, vhs-compatible video camera perched on his shoulder at our birthday parties. i swore i would never embarrass my children in such a way. and here i am, in love with this video camera, imagining all of the moments i will be able to capture.. but why wait til emmy is here? i've already started taping things.. you know, to get used to the camera..
i took some video of alan tattooing a friend the other day, but at least i tried to be a little sneaky about it so the guys at the shop wouldn't tease him. and i'll have to get some video on move-in day at our new apartment. maybe someday emmy will actually enjoy all of this, i love stumbling upon photos and videos from my parent's lives before my brother and i were around, or were too young to remember. seeing their little quirks that haven't changed, or moments where i see a lot of me in them.

It's Official!

Well, it was already official since we got married in August, but now I have a ring, and just changed my last name to Lindsey. Now to change it at the bank, on my driver's license, and at work..

Houston is finally getting sunshiney and I can stop hibernating. Time to dig through my closet and see what spring/summer clothes still fit. I'm a bit bored of wearing Alan's shirts all the time. I want to wear something pretty! Also, now that my belly is showing, people are starting to stare. They can't figure out if I'm pregnant, so they consult the friends their out with and then all of them turn and look. They could really be a bit more discreet about it. Wearing more belly-flattering tops may do the trick.

24 Weeks

Finally, a better photo, taken by mom on Saturday the 5th

I hope more of that beautiful weather is on it's way. I'm craving a sunny, beachy getaway. I wonder how upset my doctor would be if we decided to go on some tropical islandy getaway? I mean, it's not like I'm due for a few more months anyway..

Sing a Little Sunshine Song

It's a less than lovely day in Houston, but I'm feeling sunshiney. The last few days I've been so grumpy, I want to warn people everywhere i go to run! Run, my poor husband, I'm about to snap at you when you haven't done anything. Run, mom! I'm going to vent for a minimum of 15 minutes about something minor. But the thundercloud has passed, and today I'm feeling just peachy. Just a little update- no time to really write, I to get cleaning.. it should look like I've been somewhat productive since Alan's been at work..

What Cuties

Happy February everyone! I can't believe it's already here. One month closer to meeting Emmylou, and my birth month!

These two photos are of Alan, but we're not sure how old he is. What a cutie pie! The third photo is of me at 6 months. I can see me and Alan trying to pick out whose features Emmylou has.

Nesting Nursery

I love these images from other nurseries. As soon as i told my mom we were expecting, we started designing the baby's room. I love mid-century modern for my living space with quirky personal touches. For the baby room, I want something gender neutral and sweet, without being too 'baby'. Grays and whites with pops of color. Nature-inspired. I want gray or white tree decals along at least the wall where the crib is. I'm in love with pottery barn's glider, but will have to find a less expensive option.
Unfortunately, we will be moving right before the baby, so who knows what the baby's room is going to look like. At least we can start planning out her space, and then just buy things when the time comes. I hope she at least has a good window so there's natural light..

Check Up

We had our 23 week check-up today. You seem to be healthy and growing well, with an attitude to boot! You kicked the entire time the doctor was trying to check you out, and for most of the rest of the day.

Today was also the day we took care of dad's warrants. He had two from when he was a young, rebellious rapscallion and they've been such a burden. We felt that they should be taken care of before you're born, and because I'm sure they would have been an issue at just the wrong time.. like we'll get pulled over driving to the hospital when I'm in labor or something. 

I've gained 3 pounds since our last doctor's appointment, bringing me to 115. When we got home I decided to try on the dress I had in mind for some pregnancy/wedding photos to make sure it still fits. It'd be nice to take some photos with a decent camera, not just photobooth.

Newer=Better?

I've been working on my baby registry recently, and have been overwhelmed by how much toys seem to have changed since I was a kid. My head is filled with fond memories of legos, a wooden train set, and lots of glitter and paint and other art supplies. Imagination was required for the things my brother and I played with. It seems like all of the toys I'm looking at are just noisy, with lots of flashing lights. Did the toys really change that much, or were my parents just selective about what they bought us? I hope Emmylou doesn't feel like she's missing out on something that I opted not to get her because other kids have it. I'm sticking to toys that remind me of my own childhood. And maybe this cool speedster.

22 weeks

our lives have changed forever. i realized this the day i saw those two little lines on the pregnancy test. it's been 18 weeks since that day, and every day since, you've become more real. you're already growing too fast! time is flying by, and dragging at the same time. i'm going to have to capture every moment of every day as soon as you're here. i don't want to miss anything. i've been trying to imagine what our life will be like with you, and all the new experiences you'll have. it's funny how i've never met you, but i constantly think about all of these soon-to-come moments with you. i already can't imagine life without you.

all the love in the world,
l

Rocking Motorcycle

i'm too sleepy to write.. but i had to post this awesome rocking motorcycle built by Felix Gotze. now i'm going to go dream about it