A little update

I love everything she does. I want a photo of every goofy face she makes, video of each funny gesture, recordings of all her little coos and mews (she really does sound like a kitten). Looking at her brings me and Alan to tears. She's got the whole family wrapped around her little finger. I think the two most used phrases in our house right now are "I love you so much" and "she's perfect". Life is good. Recovery has been a bit rough, but I know it just takes time to heal and establish routines. A good friend reminded me to enjoy every moment, even the sleepless nights, as they are fleeting and will soon be missed.

Taking it all in,
L

An adorable moment, with her yet-to-be-titled grandparent

Woah, Baby!

Emmylou Elyse Yates Lindsey was born on Friday, May 27, 2011. She weighed 8 lbs, 6 oz and was 21" long. Moments after arriving at Target, I noticed my leggings were uncomfortably wet. What just happened? Was that my water breaking? Rushed to the restroom to double check, and eventually decided it was best to contact Dr. Patolia to get her opinion.
Lets rewind a bit.. On Thursday evening, I had started to have cramps that felt similar to the cramps I got when the doctor checked to see how dilated/effaced I was, which is what she said early labor would feel like. These cramps continued into Friday, but I was feeling productive and decided to ignore the discomfort. As usual, there were a million things on the to-do list that must get done. Having a baby suddenly topped that list.
When I called the doctor, she instructed me to go ahead to the hospital. I wanted to pick Alan up first (and was still doubting that I was in labor) and also pick up my hospital bag, but mom insisted we get to the hospital after retrieving the bag. So we sent dad to pick up Alan. That turned out to be a good idea, as my amniotic fluid began leaking everywhere, and it ended up taking two hours for Alan and dad to get to the hospital because of Memorial Day traffic. By the time they came, I was getting the epidural and had been started on pitocin. Uncle Chris, Shannon and their boys arrived at the same time. It was about 5pm, and time to sit and wait, and try to rest (and update Facebook). At 9:30, I was 9.5cm dilated and 100% effaced. 30 minutes later I started pushing, and at 10:35 pm Emmylou was born! The nurse had just opened the door to call a doctor down the hall to deliver the baby, but in rushed Dr. Patolia.
Alan and me, before Emmylou was born

Emmylou's first picture!

She couldn't be more perfect. It is unbelievable to me that she is mine, that she grew in me for nine months. I don't want to miss anything, she's changing so fast! We seem to have come so far from her being in my belly, and I do miss those days. I've already forgotten how inconvenient and heavy that belly was. I want time to stand still so I can spend forever in today. I'm so happy I have a camera and video camera to capture the most wonderful moments of my life: my little girl doing anything or nothing, my husband becoming a father, my parents becoming grandparents, my brother becoming uncle rowdy, and a love that knows no bounds.

Spilling over with love,
L

i'm almost too tired to think of anything to write. i'm exhausted, but restless. as much as i want to sleep, there are also a million projects i want to take on. i've got a love that's about to burst if it doesn't get out. and her name is emmylou. everyone is waiting rather impatiently for your arrival, little miss. i never considered that the rest of the family and our friends would be as anxious as alan and i are.

as of yesterday, i am 2 cm dilated and 80% effaced. it's all up to emmylou now!

we got this adorable "baby's first book" by rag and bone at anthropologie the other day

i love our little family so much.

May 17, 2011

alas, we had our final ultrasound today. emmylou is estimated to be 7 pounds, 11 ounces. she's measuring 38 weeks, 5 days. all day i was hoping that would mean that she'd come a few days early. it was a bit of a rough day. i couldn't get comfortable and wasn't feeling well at all. i think i took two baths.. and yes, my memory is that bad currently.
there are still a few things to get done before emmylou gets here
- make crib skirt
- get bumper in the mail
- another coat of paint on the crib
- make pillow
- make crib quilt
- make banner thingy for her room
- figure out changing table
- get changing pad
- hang art
- get trash can for diapers
- get bookshelves
- maybe make new ottoman

currently, i'm enjoying my little gal moving around in my tummy. watching her daddy play a video game. it's 1:15 am and we're awake "just because." while i don't know exactly how many days are left in my pregnancy, i know that they are limited. alan and i went on a walk together today and it's starting to feel so real that these are the last days for the rest of our lives that it will be just us. of course, we're both excited about this new chapter in our lives. and i need to remember to enjoy this time, too. despite my discomfort, i admit that i love the curve of my belly. it's so perfectly round. and while i don't like the swollen feet, i can't see them over my tummy anyway. i hate having to wait to see our little emmylou, but i love guessing whose features she's going to have. i'm starting to think that maybe i will miss being pregnant. at least a little bit. alan and i don't plan on having another babe for at least a few years, so i should enjoy it now while it's upon us. the best part is soon to come, but for now i will enjoy (and be in awe of) what my body has been doing these last 9 months.

37 weeks, 3 days

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Friday, May 13th

oh, it's friday the 13th! hopefully today turns out to be a good one, i'm not too superstitious about friday the 13th though. classes are finally over, and my finals went well. i had my last class on wednesday and am finally feeling relieved. my nesting has kicked in pretty bad. mom and i have been furnishing the apartment, and are finally getting started on the baby room. we bought the fabric for your curtains yesterday, and i've started laying out the quilt that will hopefully be done by the time you get here. i've gotten some fabric to make you the cutest little dresses and rompers and hats. 

i've been jumping between being impatient and ready for your arrival, and feeling unprepared and content being pregnant. i miss being comfortable, but i love knowing that you're safe in my belly. the hospital bag is almost full and your carseat is in the car but still needs to be installed. you finally have a mattress in your crib, but they need sheets. on tuesday the doctor said i was 1 cm dilated and 80% effaced. next tuesday we're having our last ultrasound, which we can hardly wait for. one more look before you're out here, in our arms.

love,

l

36 Weeks!

It's May!

this could be the month that my little lou arrives. i'm so nervous about going into labor.. when is it going to happen? where will i be? will alan be with me, or 30 miles away at work? will it be in the middle of the night, or in the afternoon? having no control over this is truly inconvenient!
i am absolutely ready for her to be here, and not at all ready. i can't wait to snuggle her for the first time. and for the swelling in my feet to go away, to be able to see the stairs in front of me, and mostly to be able to get out of bed or the bath without any help. at the same time, i know these are the final weeks of a particular chapter in me and alan's life. we will no longer be our main concern, and we never will be again. how quickly life can change. in june i was lauren (that girl on a motorcycle). on the 9th of august, i married alan and we became lauren (that girl on a motorcycle) and alan (that guy on the back). in september, we found out we were expecting, and became lauren (no, not humpty dumpty) and alan (poor guy). in the next few weeks, we will become lauren (mom) and alan (dad) and emmylou (apple of our eye).
i'm laying in bed typing this. alan is sound asleep next to me, and my fingers hitting the keys is the only noise in the house. i suppose i should enjoy these nights where i'm awake at almost 2 am "just because". i should also enjoy those odd little movements in my belly.. i think i'll miss them when they're gone.

love,
l

lately, sundays have been called tuesday, mondays called friday, and i can't remember any days prior to the current one. oh emmylou (isn't your name lovely?), i'm so consumed with you.. and apparently the hormones also have something to do with this memory loss. there is far too much on my plate at the moment.. i've known for months this time was coming, i just didn't expect that it would ever actually get here. i've dreaded this month where i would be juggling finals, moving, and bringing you into the world. and here it is upon me! my practical cooking final is on thursday. the week after is the written final, and then there is one more week of class. alan and i may be staying our first night at the new place on thursday, or friday at the latest. tomorrow and wednesday i'm going to try to make the curtains for our living and dining rooms. i must be crazy- while typing this out i'm thinking "wow, that's really too much" and simultaneously hoping above all hopes that it will all come together in the end, and i won't be entirely worn out.. of course, it's too late to hope for that last part. standing for 8 hours, 3 days a week is becoming more and more impossible. even after typing this out, and really considering everything i've written, i want to try. just a few more weeks of pushing my bounds. it feels good to be so motivated. i'm starting to see a determination in myself that i've always admired in my mother.

love,
l

34 weeks

not looking my best, i'm tired after a long day. today marks 34 weeks, and i cannot express how ready i am for you to be here, emmylou! yesterday you moved constantly from 11:15 am to 5:40 in the afternoon. i started throwing up at work, and decided that class was not the best idea. alan and i went to target and bought some travel-size toiletries to pack in the hospital bag.

another big thing happened today- i signed the lease for our new place. alan doesn't know it yet, but mom and i are setting up all the furniture and surprising him in a few days. there is so much going on! moving, finals, and your due date is approaching quickly.

i think this is going to be the outfit you come home from the hospital in

Last Day of Lamaze

as the title suggests, today was our 6th and final lamaze class. i think alan and i did take something away from the class.. i'm at least less freaked out about being scared about birth. i've got a much better understanding of how everything happens and what's going on (thanks, texas education, for not teaching us anything about things that will likely occur in our lives), and am more comfortable knowing that there are plenty of other women who are just as scared of going through labor. although i was the only one that cried when we saw a video of an epidural being administered. i'm slightly less scared, now that i know WHAT is going to happen. honestly, i had no idea prior to those classes. in just a few more weeks, it's going to happen. and i'm still terrified. also, officially nesting.

33 Weeks

i'll be 33 weeks tomorrow, which means 7 more to go. emmylou, we absolutely cannot wait to meet you. we're so in love already, and you have no idea how spoiled you are. sometime last week i really outgrew all of my pre-pregnancy clothes. i gained 5 pounds over the last 2 weeks, i am now 128 lbs.

in class today, photo by roger

there are so many things to do before you get here, and i am so excited for your arrival.. but at the same time i am terrified. giving birth is something i've been afraid of for as long as i can remember. i don't know what i'm more scared of; the needle that comes with the epidural, or the actual birth. i have no idea what this is going to feel like, but i know it isn't going to be pleasant. i think one of the happiest moments of my life will be when you are placed on my chest after being born. but the moments and hours leading up to that may be some of the most painful i will ever experience. my body will do things that i have absolutely no control over. i hope alan will be the support that i need most during that time. he's constantly playing around, and this is one time i know i won't be in the mood for it. i know i shouldn't be worrying about that, he will be great. now to keep my mind off of the inevitable yet unkown things that are to come.

love,
l

Lovely Monday

today couldn't have been much better. alan and i have been taking monday's off together, and the last couple of weeks we've fulfilled obligations, and tried to have some fun, too. i've been promising him a monday where my never-ending checklist would be put aside and it would just be him and me, and me and him. and the kite that's been sitting in my car since i got it three weeks ago.
we slept in. we had cinnamon rolls. then went to the beach and flew our kite, had lunch at ihop, and came home to e-mail our lamaze instructor that we wouldn't be able to make it to class tonight.. and went to the movies. we saw source code and insidious.

monday is the popular day to hate. for alan and me, and the millions of other people who don't always get saturday and sunday off, monday isn't so bad. we chose to have mondays off together so we could avoid any crowds, and because we always get our request approved. if we'd asked for friday, saturday, or sunday, there would likely be several other requests put in for that same day. i love you monday, even if no one else does.

we've come a long way, baby

30 weeks and 2 days already! time started flying once i was over the morning sickness. 10 short weeks until i get to meet the little girl who already takes my breath away, physically and mentally.

we will be moving in just a few weeks. i've gone crazy doing as much space planning as possible, with mom's help of course. i want to surprise alan by having all of our things unpacked and ready the day we move in. and emmylou, your room is coming together already. your crib got its final coat of yellow paint today, a kartell gnome sidetable is on its way, and your dresser is being refinished. there are still so many things to be done, but a list has been made and things WILL get crossed off!

in other news, we've found a new ob/gyn. i had my first appointment two weeks ago, and am feeling so much better. unfortunately, alan wasn't able to come to the appointment, but mom came along and also felt better about the new doctor. our next appointment is on monday, and alan will be there. we started lamaze on the 14th. from the two classes we've been to, here's how we're enjoying it so far:
the class is from 7-9:30. that's a long class, but we'd be okay with that if we were learning lots during that time. so far, that hasn't been the case. people love telling stories of their lives in extreme detail, and it ends up taking more than an hour of classtime. perhaps i'm judging too quickly, there have only been two classes. and the first class was about baby care, which we didn't need, so it seemed especially long. we'll see how this monday goes.
oh! we've also got a photoshoot on monday. i'm crossing my fingers that alan will be tolerant of it all.

29 weeks, 4 days

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Glucose Test

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The Results Are In

last thursday, i had a needle biopsy of two 4cm lumps on my thyroid. i was told the results would be in the next day, which they were.. but the nurse couldn't tell me what they were. the doctor wanted to speak to the pathologist, so i wouldn't know the results until monday. so here we are.. it turns out that there were abnormal, malignant cells present in the biopsy. i'll be going in to consult with the doctor on wednesday morning, to discuss the effect (if any) on my pregnancy, and whether surgery can be put off until after the baby is delivered. 

i felt much better that we had an ultrasound today, and emmylou is perfectly healthy. they checked her thyroid and her heart- both looked good. i am 27 weeks and 5 days. emmylou is about 13.5 inches, and 2.9 lbs (big for her age!). she's got a big ol' noggin and big feet. i swear her face is the same shape as alan's. 

ultrasound tech: "there's her face, and her hand is next to it.. it appears that her foot is there as well.."

i started cracking up. we've got a little contortionist. then she started grabbing her feet, which the tech took a photo of for us.

Dream Dream Dream

i've been listening to my ipod on shuffle lately, and have stumbled across a few songs i hadn't listened to in a while.
i've taken to singing this one to emmy





tomorrow is a big day- we get another ultrasound! it's been several months since the last one, and i've been so anxious to see how she's changed. it'd be nice to confirm that she is indeed a she, too..
we'll be getting the results from the thyroid biopsy i had on thursday, too. i'm not too nervous about it, i just want to know what's going on!
if the weather is nice, we'll be heading to the beach. i have my fingers and toes crossed for that one. and at night we're going to a show. i'm excited for that, we've only been to one show together, and this time we're seeing a band that alan likes. 

this year, my birthday fell on a tuesday. we held off celebrating until wednesday and friday. my brother, his lady, alan and i went to a lucero/robert ellis and the boys show on wednesday the 23rd, and my parents took alan and me out to dinner and then to see the final radio music theater show on friday the 25th. they also gave me a panasonic hdc-sdx1 video camera. i'm in love with it! as a child, i was embarrassed by mom constantly having the camera in everyone's face, blinding us with the flash. or dad having the giant, vhs-compatible video camera perched on his shoulder at our birthday parties. i swore i would never embarrass my children in such a way. and here i am, in love with this video camera, imagining all of the moments i will be able to capture.. but why wait til emmy is here? i've already started taping things.. you know, to get used to the camera..
i took some video of alan tattooing a friend the other day, but at least i tried to be a little sneaky about it so the guys at the shop wouldn't tease him. and i'll have to get some video on move-in day at our new apartment. maybe someday emmy will actually enjoy all of this, i love stumbling upon photos and videos from my parent's lives before my brother and i were around, or were too young to remember. seeing their little quirks that haven't changed, or moments where i see a lot of me in them.

It's Official!

Well, it was already official since we got married in August, but now I have a ring, and just changed my last name to Lindsey. Now to change it at the bank, on my driver's license, and at work..

Houston is finally getting sunshiney and I can stop hibernating. Time to dig through my closet and see what spring/summer clothes still fit. I'm a bit bored of wearing Alan's shirts all the time. I want to wear something pretty! Also, now that my belly is showing, people are starting to stare. They can't figure out if I'm pregnant, so they consult the friends their out with and then all of them turn and look. They could really be a bit more discreet about it. Wearing more belly-flattering tops may do the trick.